Reflection: 100 years April 18, 1928 - April 18, 2028

The following is to give you some insight.

The following is "copied" from my personal writing.
/h

_____________________________

Dedication: 100 years: April 18, 1928 - April 18, 2028

This begins a preamble and dedication after much procrastination and, well yes, many many months of procrastination.

The writing is dedicated is to (my Uncle)

Frederick Clarence Titman,

b. December 18, 1905;

d. April 18, 1928, age 23

100 years:  April 18, 1928 - April 18, 2028

My brother told me that, he had been told by our father, that Dad, when visiting a Meacham elderly resident, in the Humboldt hospital on his death bed. was given a confession; “I murdered your brother.”

This is intended to be a, read between the lines, from fragments of what I can recall from long ago things said, and more critical; conclusions arrived at, now in my senior years; turning 70 this summer. (2018).

We can never know the emotions experienced by those in our family over their lifetime. Hurt, grief, anger, rejection, and more...., all the human emotions that are available. People live to experience them all. Many never tell, perhaps due to medical circumstances, or just thinking it best not to tell. Think before you judge and choose to remember only the bad, which has upset and affected your life. They were not all bad, they carried grief too, and with the lens of alcohol, everything is magnified. 

Not until very late in his life did Dad know what happened to his brother, who Grandma Susan said had been his role model.

2025 update:  Probably April 18th, 1960 Mom and Dad were seen talking about something. Shortly thereafter Mom came from my grandparents old house, on the hill in our yard. She had me try on a jacket that had been kept in the family trunk of keepsakes. I turned 12 that summer, the same age of my father when his brother was murdered. That summer I wore the moss green military jacket, that I now recognize from the picture above.

The following is a summary of our family and conclusions:

My grandfather left Devon England, lied about his age because he was too young, and ran away to fight in the Boer War in South Africa.  Our family is come to understand that he as living with and being raised by his aunt at the time he left.  After the Boer war, he came to Canada, married Susan, and later enlisted and fought in the first world war.

Reflecting back over my early childhood years, I do not recall our family attending church services, I do not recall the Bible being used in our home in any way.  My grandfather, having been raised in England, was the Anglican Church of England as religious affiliation. I have arrived at the conclusion, that because there was no religious indoctrination of any kind in my own childhood, that it is highly likely that my mother and father consciously proceeded on this path.  I also conclude that it is highly likely that my father and his siblings were brought up in the same manner, no religious indoctrination.

To further dive into these conclusions, I, first of all, make the assumption that my grandfather made his conscious decision, after coming to Canada from fighting in the Boer war, to no longer practice his Church of England, Anglican faith.  

I also assume that he made this conscious decision, after what he observed during his time in the Boer war of South Africa, if I may borrow the phrase, “leap of faith”, I will further conclude by my own non-participation in the Christian faith, that I am highly likely to be following in the footsteps in this regard, of my murdered uncle.

I conclude that my uncle was murdered for one of two reasons.  

The first that the perpetrator may have been jealous of in common pursuit of relationship interest.  

The second and more probable cause was that of adherence to religious conviction.  

Rural life during the 1920s and the KKK prevalence in community, had no tolerance for anyone that would question the existence of "the holy spirit", or be observed to be a non-participant in Christian social practices.

Through my investigation of that time, I have found that in the University Archives of Saskatchewan website, that during the 1920s, the KKK had their headquarters in Biggar, Saskatchewan. I have also been told by a close community member of the community, Colonsay, Saskatchewan was also a hotbed of white supremacist activity during the decade of his death. Murdered for not joining and participating in KKK events?

Your Simply Can’t

It's not your fault. There's nothing you can do about it. 

What am I talking about? I'm talking about you and your personal mental health. You need to step back; you need to analyze. But first, you need to be capable and understand your placement in society relative to those around you. Are you one of the crowd? Are you part of the social ambience that exists? If so, there's no need to read further. 

If you continued, you are different; you are reaching out perhaps, to know more. I don't have perfect answers. I only have my life experiences over the past 60 years. 

Perhaps I will begin with my conclusion of the day, and then work backwards through time, attempting to describe the circumstances that brought me to this place in time.

You are alone; you are alone and feel displaced, misplaced, rejected, along with any other descriptor to describe your emotional state. 

Let's flip this around: your personal circumstance is simply your uniqueness. This uniqueness is a sense of accomplishment, and you've made it this far. Others will see you as arrogant. It's simply their jealousy. Most people make involuntary responses at the moment. Their subconscious provides the context for their response. If they sense fear, the response will be defensive. Perhaps the most difficult thing to understand in this situation is that you are not at fault when faced with this emotional response. There is only one option: walk away, do not engage further.

To be continued…

There is hope

It's possibly over a month since the discussion took place. One of those casual meetings with another customer at the storage facility. Casually talking about each other's life experiences, he in his late 50s. His words of encouragement, that there is hope for changing the future. Hope for change that deeply held religious convictions can be shed, replaced by a new understanding of the natural world. 

His words were: 

"My father changed from his deeply held religious views at age 93, there is hope."

My personal conclusion is that it would take perhaps 500 years for society to gradually change where the majority views the natural world as I have come to see it. His statement is reassuring. As the baby boomer demographics changes, those that are left and seek social interaction, a sense of community, are simply forced by their diminishing numbers to seek knowledge outside of their hereditary held beliefs. Some will come to realize that what they once asserted to be sacred, was simply their personal State of mind. Their own personal opinion, based on doctrine and ideology passed on from there ancestors, and their family. These states of mind do not represent the world as it actually is, they are simply a bias, a lens through which everything is interpreted. When the only reference material in many social groups is the sacred book, and everything else is labeled as lies and deception, and fake news, little will ever change. 

Only they're loneliness as a result of diminishing numbers will force the encroachment of new knowledge and new understanding. Such is the reassuring words of this individual, "My father changed from his deeply held religious views at age 93, there is hope."

Scaffolding

A simple but interesting title. I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. Where to begin? Let's begin by going back, going way back, going back to the beginning. The beginning? The beginning of you! When did you begin? You began long before you realized you were you.

What brought about this morning of mental exploration? Perhaps a mental rewind, remembering a response during our conversation. Perhaps a pivotal point for this moment’s observations. Quote: “I don't need to clutter up my mind with things like that.

What do I find most disturbing about this response? I might add that this response was from a senior, well into their eighties. However, this would be a common response from perhaps just about anyone. Probably the response from most of those in our social networks. Most disturbing about this response is the individual denial that life, regardless of your place in it, is a learning experience. For an individual to have the default opinion that knowledge is clutter, describes a far deeper predicament in our social networks.

Back to that statement that I made earlier: “I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.“Perhaps we can make this extremely simple by dividing individuals into two camps. Why only two? Well, maybe not precisely two, maybe a spectrum? Perhaps people are somewhere between the two extremes.

Two camps: 1) Conformity 2) individuality

Conformity, probably the easiest to describe. A social network, an organization, a cultural practice, ethnic, and many more. Anywhere that we observe clusters of like-minded individuals. The term populism would describe perhaps one of the most common.

Individuality, the most difficult to observe. Go to the individual level in society, perhaps looking for black sheep. More specifically, look for those that appear to be achieving their personal goals despite public opinion. By this I mean they base their daily decisions on the best information at the moment, because of a lifetime of observations and experiences. Their daily path through life is a continuation of friction with those around them. Differing opinions, different methods, not a path for the weak, a liberal requirement of a strong sense of determination, with an overabundance of logic and reason.

Why these two camps? Because they are observable in our general population. Why do we have this observable division?

Examining the why. Sometime ago I came across information that stated, the “self” that people become, comprising two sources. The average population is about 50% from each of the sources. Individuality, therefore, is 50% inherited, 50% self-development and environment.

The scaffolding changes throughout your lifetime. There is little you can do about your inherited traits, such as certain behavioural characteristics. There is also little you can do about your ability to observe and analyze. However, inheritance establishes a starting point, although you can develop your perception further. That which is further developed as life proceeds, your environment influences. Your environment has a direct correlation with your ability to develop individual logic and reason, or to adhere to environmentally biased conformity. History has shown us that offspring from families distantly related genetically produce a lower level of cognitive awareness. We can do little to improve this circumstance. Perhaps, conversely, we can say that the greatest genetic diversity produces the highest degree of cognitive self-awareness.

A vicious cycle to the bottom, perhaps?

Well here's a late evening thought for some to contemplate! 

-------

So we are all aware, of class action lawsuits against tobacco companies to recover healthcare costs in our current time. 

So let's take this precedence one step further?

There are many whom assert we live in a Christian Nation.

We have established laws, to allow consumption of addictive substances. 

We currently have a large part of our senior population that have succumbed to vital organ conditions as a result of these addictive substances. Healthcare costs are going through the roof, discretionary income in the general population has almost vanished. 

Those that have failing health, become hopelessly seeking something better, and turn to these religious institutions. The very institutions that legalized he addictive substances which led to their health condition.

Where is the community and political will, to bring a class action suit against religious denominations, historically obviously complicit in our current health circumstance?  Go after the companies that produce the substances, go after the people that legalized it. As a whole, the citizens identifying as Christian , are responsible for its current circumstance. These good Christian people, have invested in the corporations, because they expect a future nest egg for their eventual retirement. Perhaps seizing of assets derived from the investments in the addictive substance supply chain?

It's not likely that we will achieve our financial goals, and reduce public deficits, by legalizing more substances, for future taxation revenue streams. You're simply adding to the addiction cycles, and the future health of the citizens. 

Legalization of marijuana has led to a segment of our population incapable of the cognitive abilities and dexterity to maintain consistent employment. If they're not employable, they're not going to pay any taxes and contribute to the healthcare costs. A vicious cycle to the bottom, perhaps?

Perfection and Procrastination

 

And so, "perfection" has finally brought me to a point where I am sitting this morning. First coffee done, fist done, and set up my laptop to begin. Am I too late? Too late for what? Good morning, people! And so it is you stumbled across this page. We all expected to see better, 20:20 in 2020. It doesn't appear that turned out as planned. Where do we go from here? The more I observe, the more I understand. The more I come to know my conclusion is I do not know. I guess we'll just all make it up as we go along. One day at a time! As you can see by the creation date of this post. It is October 21, 2020. We are well into a new season, this morning's temperature is only +8°C. Today begins my second morning with my kerosene heater. The season has changed and by the end of this week. The temperatures will be near freezing. With the seasonal change. I've cleaned out items that I have seldom used, and put them in my storage locker. And so begins my sixth year of "Van-life". Learning and growing and refining what is around me. "Perfectionism", aha there it is! The creation of this page, and the registration of the corresponding domain name. Aha, there is the "procrastination". Overthinking and rethinking and rethinking again because I might have missed something. Not bothering to put thoughts in place, why? Because tomorrow or the day after, those thoughts will be out of date, anyway. Sounds like a good excuse! "Are we there yet?" Am I too late?

Let's go down a rabbit hole together.

 Have you heard the phrase, "you're too smart for your own good"?

Let's go down a rabbit hole together. Keep in the back of your mind, "Plato's allegory of the cave", social groups and societies maintain a cohesion and a hierarchy. Put that aside for now.

Is life one big poker game? "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." A Western way of life, perhaps composed of a subculture of narcissism.

Let's take an artist, for example. You have some raw talent, and you enjoy what you do. Input from those around you encourages you. Perfect! Yes, perfect to be shaped and groomed. Search for materials, and develop your own path of learning. But there's another option, a life coach or a manager. Yes, just look at all the high-profile artists from decades past. They had a manager. Many of the rows to fame in financial security, to burn out fast. Still others rose to that high level and passed away penniless. Yes, well, so what! That's just the way it is.

Back to my first opening statement, "you're too smart for your own good". The goal of people undertaking a career is to maintain a revenue stream. When management and life coaching becomes a career, it's all about the revenue stream. Back to my opening statement! So you've done a few interviews. You're looking for someone to take you further, perhaps more quickly than you could on your own. But for some, why can't it happen? Maybe it's very simple. The individual looking for the revenue stream evaluates you. Are you a candidate for long-term development? Are you the personality that will follow direction and a blueprint to reach your goals? If after a few interviews, you may conclude, “maybe I’m too smart for my own good.” Individually you have compassion, direction, enthusiasm and perhaps already achieved a high level as a self-made artist. Perfect! There is your answer! You don't need a coach or a manager. You've already done on your own that which seeking a manager will do for you. To the person evaluating you as a potential candidate, they already realize that you are independent, that independence is your barrier. So what do you do about it? There are many options, but perhaps the best long-term option. If you encounter a barrier, the best approach is to go around it. It's a longer path. It may not lead to a place of which you imagined, but a few things to consider. It will take you longer, yes. You will maintain independence based on your goals as opposed to someone else's revenue stream objectives. You keep management of your time, therefore avoid induced stress because of time schedules beyond your control. The greatest benefit of self-development, as opposed to being managed, is the reduced stress. Management of stress leads to many behaviours which collectively contribute to an overall reduced biological wellness. It's a comparison. Compare this path to the managed high-profile entertainer who achieved high levels only to burn out and fall out of the public spotlight. Is the goal to be a global celebrity, succumb to addictions and shorter longevity lifestyles? Individuals in this category often struggle with poor mental health and attract parasitic individuals into their personal networks. After all, most of the surrounding people rely on you to be part of their revenue stream. To reflect on this circumstance, the individual finds themselves trapped.

What can you take away from this understanding? Your independence can allow for you to self manage, make strategic changes quickly. Is there a negative to your independence? Yes! Your independence, your achievements, are all attributes which the general population, "Plato's allegory of the cave" will subconsciously and methodically destroy. It reminds me of something someone said to me more than a decade ago. He knew my abilities and my general knowledge throughout a decade of interactions. What sticks in my mind, which he said, "Howard, you're going to put everyone out of work." There you have it! "Plato's allegory of the cave." Societies and cultures maintained their conformity. They coexist in their bubble, they rely on others in their community, revenue streams. Independence shows to a few in a community that they can also be independent. To become a role model by even a few is detrimental to the cohesion of the group. Narcissistic personalities engage primarily in "character assassination" of those they perceive as uncontrollable. Perhaps described as a "herd mentality" which maintains the hierarchy in many other species. From a biological perspective, it assures that the strongest and most dominant within the group continues their genetics into the future generations. Because of that cognitive abilities of our species, individuality is possible. Perhaps we could describe this in our species as follows. Most of our population is of lesser cognitive ability than the few at the top. Recent events of populism in our cultures may best describe this. Those of lesser cognitive ability makeup the majority, and therefore through democratic process, can keep their desires. There is a phrase which describes this behaviour. "Be careful. 

"Those who can't be captain of your ship, will sink it".

That’s it, that’s this mornings “rabbit-hole”… 

Thank you for reading!

/h